I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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