I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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