His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
