Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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