Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
