i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
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