After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
