Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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