i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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