when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
