just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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