You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
