I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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