if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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