i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
high people should be assigned attendants
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
