The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Randomize
