saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
