Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Im part way to drunk.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
