i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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