Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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