My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize