I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
