he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
