At least make sure they are 18
Why
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
