Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
As shirtless as possible
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize