On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
