I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
