so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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