Sry I called you an 8
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
