just tell him i said nine months
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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