so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
