Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
He shit in the fireplace
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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