Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
