well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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