I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
