I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
it's like iHOP with fire
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
