She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
