How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
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