Do you still have your period?
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
