I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Sext me about skeletons
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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