I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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