I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize