loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
