Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
