he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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