there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
