doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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