Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
