oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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