Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
