I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
