i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
