Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
