beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
