Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
