he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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