Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
