He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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