ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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