True but thats because hes a fetus.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
