Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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