when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
