If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
