we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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